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  • Dr. Richard

Don't Make Assumptions

Updated: Jul 5




For those of you who may be reading my Blog for the first time, I’m in the third of a series drawn from The Four Agreements – a book by Don Miguel Ruiz who asserts that each of us, beginning at birth, was indoctrinated into the ways of a collective dream by our parents, our friends, our schools, our educators, our churches and yes, our media and social media.


And the ways of this collective dream would teach us what clothes to wear, what languages to speak, what friends to accept, what parts to shave. The ways of this collective dream would demonstrate how to relate to the so-called opposite gender, and how to relate to the so-called same gender; how to relate to these people over here (which can mean any number of things), and how to relate to those people over there (which can mean any number of things). The ways of this collective dream would provide the foundation for our values, the core for our morality. The ways of this collective dream would seek to define the height of our personal worth, the reach of our personal potential.


And if you don’t believe me, just think about how the collective dream of the 1950’s would seek to define the height of personal worth for non-whites. And just think about how the collective dream of the 1950’s would seek to define the reach of personal potential for women. The ways of this collective dream would infuse our concept of the very universe in which we live - as friendly or hostile, as for you or against you, as Helen Keller’s “daring adventure, or [as] nothing at all.”


And because we, as children, quite simply didn’t know any better, each of us adopted this collective dream as our own, at which point the outer dream became the inner dream or what the author would term a Personal Book of Law, all part of a self-perpetuating process he calls the Domestication of Humans.


Now, the problem with this Personal Book of Law is that it’s brimming with lies. Entire lives have been constructed on Books of Law which tell us that if someone over there gets more, we over here get less; that it’s a dog-eat-dog, survival of the fittest world defined by scarcity and ruled by competition.


Entire lives have been constructed on Books of Law which tell us that humanity fits neatly into one of two genders; that the full spectrum of humanity can truly be reduced to two fundamental categories based entirely upon whatever pieces and parts happen to be visible on one’s front side. I could call this the Archie Bunker Book of Law – you remember Archie sitting at the piano with Edith longing for the days when, “Girls were girls and men were men. Mister, we could use a man like Herbert Hoover again.”